“Hello peasants. It’s HM Queen Victoria here.
One should like to take this opportunity to remind any and all grubby oiks who usually attend Youth Alpha on a Friday night that the aforementioned group is taking a short break. I believe the common parlance is as follows:
‘Youth Alpha ain’t happin’ this week. So don’t come!’
But one would like to extend to you my personal invite-a-tion to join the rest of your delightful provincial community in Ches’am high street to hang around in the cold, look at the Christmas lights and ride on the big merry go round. For this Friday is the Ches’am Victorian-Christmas-late-night-shopping-thingy. And a jolly nice evening it shall be.
One used to love a bit of late night shopping back in the day.
Should you feel inclined, you are welcome to spend some time in the charming company of your favourite Broadway Baptist church folk as their doors shall be flung open and they shall be serving drinks, cakes and singing carols at the top of their little voices.
So why not join them in the warm for a bit. All are welcome, even the chimey sweeps and apple cheeked street urchins in top hats. Once you’ve had your fill of cake and singing you can go back out side and buy one of those glow-in-the-dark-light-up-sword-thingys just like my own children had in Victorian Britain. That’ll be nice won’t it.
So come to Broadway Baptist Church during the Chesham Victorian night and tell them I sent you.
Ta’rah peasants!”
Disclaimer – some doubt has been expressed over whether these really were Queen Victoria’s own words. It might have been that Dame Judy Dench.
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